What do we fear most, what we know or what we don’t know?
Immediately after being diagnosed with inoperable esophageal cancer and then being told successful treatment was fifty-fifty at best, fear began to creep in, but what I found most interesting is how much time I spent fearing what I didn’t know versus what I did know.
What I did know was I had cancer with a prognosis that was not “good news.” So, in the beginning, the devil began to use my fear and weakness against me. He had me thinking about how I’m leaving my wife of forty-five years to fend for herself. How she’ll meet someone new, develop a new relationship and how this new someone will be the new PawPaw to the grandkids. How the grandkids will no longer have their PawPaw. How I won’t get to see my grandkids as they grow older. And how I’ll be leaving all my family and friends behind.
But what I also knew was I serve a God who is the “Good News.” How my suffering pales in comparison to how He suffered. How the Holy Spirit is my comforter and strength. How no matter what, if all else fails, I’ll no longer be on this earth to suffer and I’ll be in the presence of God forever. So, I began to gain ground on the evil one. I began to see my physical condition as a part of living in this broken world. I began to see treatment as God’s gift of physicians and medicine. A friend deemed chemo “Holy water,” so every time I was hooked up to the dripping bags of chemo, I kept seeing the “holy water” drip by drip. As I traveled daily forty minutes each way for two months to get zapped by radiation, I found joy and motivation at the opportunity to get the treatment that could save my life.
So, when we find ourselves in these situations, we can fear what we don’t know, or embrace what we do know. I knew I had cancer; I knew it was serious. But I also knew I serve a God who would never leave me or forsake me. I knew my only hope in beating the odds, was to lean into His strength, His will, and trust in Him with all my heart and mind. I truly believe this heart and mindset got me through the most physical, emotional, and spiritually challenging time of my life.
As I sit here today, two years cancer free, I’m thankful I didn’t give in to the fear. The devil knows your fears and he will attack you exactly where you are. He’s merciless and unrelenting. Fear would have zapped me of the strength I needed to rise above this earthly affliction. If fear won, I don’t think I’d be here today. Obviously, God had a plan. I hope my writing these blogs are a part of fulfilling His plan.
If you’re struggling with fear and need help, reach out to someone for support. A loved one, a friend, or someone through church. Sometimes God will provide the most unexpected people in your life at just the right time. Don’t fail to recognize when He’s at work.
If I may personally be of service, I’m an email away. Go to my website battlecrygoodvsevil.com and hit the contact Bruce page and let me know how I can help.